Shorter Left, RIght & Center: Vin Weber has a temper tantrum edition and defends child rapists.

Editors Note: Nazi Pope Ratz resigns to avoid prosecution and jail for child rape coverup and has to stay in the Vatican to avoid jail so maybe Bob has a point.

Your moderator Very Serious Person David Brooks, Beltway Republican, uh, Matt Miller, Robert Scheer, Vin "Health Care, Ukrainian & General Revolving Door Lobbyist" Weber

VSP Matt: Chuck Hagel. Vin?

Vin: John "epic bad judgement Palin" McCain, "Sparkle Princess" Graham and the "Senate's Biggest Asshole" Inhofe (DeMint will not be missed. Ever.) would never filibuster Hagel.

Bob: McCain is just pissy because Hagel wouldn't endorse him for president, and of course McCain is pissed because Hagel was right about the Iraq abortion, or as it's known in the Bush household, Commander Bunny Pants adventure to finally win Daddy's love. Also, the Jewish Lobby, Zionist Lobby, Apartheid Israel Lobby hates Hagel and your an anti-semite for acknowledging AIPAC.

Vin: Lots of people hate Hagel. Neocons for sure. Hagel has taken money from some group call "Friends of Hamas" for Christs' sake!

VSP Matt: State of the Union. Bob?

Bob: Tip top speech. Moral. Banksters.

Vin: I hated everything about SOTU. Weak. Communist. Blame "O" for the sequester and deficit. Republicans are dinosaurs and my thinking and my party's beliefs will ensure we lose elections forever. Thank god for GerryMandering.

VSP Matt: Pre "K" is fantastic. Cut Medicare, and screw old people to pay for it. Fuck them.

Vin: Balanced idea. I support it. Budget crisis. Milton Friedman. Minimum wage should be zero. Again, my unpopular bat shit ideas are why republicans should never hold public office. Republican created long term debt is destroying America. Conservatives are trying to destroy America!

VSP Matt: I'm a republican and I agree with Vin. Bob?

Bob: Don't scapegoat old people...

VSP Matt: (angrily) I'm not scapegoating at all! It's math!

Bob: (Calmly) Shut the fuck up Charles Krauthammer, Matt. It's scapegoating. Seniors didn't create the Bank meltdown or the corporate welfare state that exports jobs and taxes overseas.

HALFTIME

Vin: North Korea. Be afraid. Respect my bat shit paranoid fears.

Bob: China. Increased role in NK. US can let this go. Nukes are weapons of terror. Apartheid Israel has nukes. Double standards.

Vin: "O" is a weany on nukes. Henry Kissinger. Consensus will never happen. Rising nationalism in China, Japan and South Korea frighten me. Respect my paranoia.

VSP Matt: Nazi Pope Ratz is resigning.

Bob: Pope Ratz was a disgrace. The church is wicked when it comes to sex and sex crimes.

Vin: That's bigoted. Bigoted!

Bob: Fuck you, asshole.

Vin: Child rapist are fine. Coverups are fine. Nothing is wrong with catholics and sex! Who the fuck are you to say those things? I love Pope Ratz! Very progressive. New standard.

END OF SHOW RANT

Bob: Catholic church defending the molestation of young boys is evil. Raping children is evil. So fuck off Vin.

Vin: Bob's bigoted hatful comments against a great institution.

VSP Matt: (stunned) "O's" rhetoric reality gap. College costs bad.

Let the Zimmermans rot in hell. The cops said cease and desist. And George said "Fucking coons", then shot Trayvon Martin to death.

George Zimmerman is a racist.  Robert Zimmerman is a whore.

John "Palin" McCain, Sparkle Princess Graham and the Senates Biggest Asshole James Inhofe are evidence that republicans are trying to destroy America

The Senates previous Biggest Asshole, Jim DeMint will never be missed. 

Draft-Dodging Coward Dick Cheney appologizes to Nazi and Japanese for WW2 war crime trials

Dick Cheney, who has killed more people than Al Qaeda, thinks water boarding is not a crime, despite the fact that the US tried Nazi and Japanese soldiers in World War II for the same thing.  

Guns kill. More guns kill more. Let there be plenty of cheap, loaded guns for you, your spouse, your parents, your children, your children's teachers and your creepy tea bag neighbors.

So remember, kiddies, if you don’t like laws that prevent you doing things your own way, or that stop you from having the weapons you want, shoot the person who makes the laws.

Associated Press doubles down on bigotry

Oh my. The right wing nuts at AP have really embraced their inner Tea Bag...over something really stupid.

Well Marco Rubio kindly enough to fuck up internationlly

Keep fucking that chicken wingnuts.

If there is any Karma in the world, Draft-Dodging ChickenHawk Coward and Serial Pedophile Rapist Ted Nugent will die by gun violence

And it couldn't happen to a more evil piece of shit scumbag. Don't prisoners kill pedophile rapists for just cause? 

Ellison to GOP Rep.: Don't Whine About Sequester After Forcing it By Threat of Default

"Well, Tom, the problem with saying that this is the president's idea is you voted for the Budget Control Act, I voted against it," Ellison noted. "We wouldn't ever have been talking about the Budget Control Act but for your party refused to negotiate on the debt ceiling, something that has been routinely increased as the country needed it."

"You used that occasion in 2011 -- August -- to basically say, we're going to default the country's obligations or you're going to give us dramatic spending cuts. That's how we got to the Budget Control Act."

 "We don't have a presidential proposal," Republican  Tom Cole opined. "I don't think you speak for the president." 

Republican Tom Cole from Oklahoma is a penis. A real Tea Bagging, asshole. 

News update: Sparkle Princess Lindsey Graham has Benghazi hard-on. Dick Cheney late for his funeral. Chris Christie bitches about being fat.

Drones; SOTU; Rebranding the GOP; the Saturday Mail Shocker

FRI FEB 8, 2013

Hosts:

• Matt Miller, 
• Robert Scheer, 
• Byron York, 
• Chrystia Freeland

Matt: The Drone Wars. Hit me with the Liberal schmear Bob. 

Bob: Congress is letting the CIA kill without oversight. 54 overseas torture sights. "O" is a Chimpy 3rd term.

Byron: "O" is finally pinning itself in the corner.  Easier to kill than close Guantanamo. Torture rocks, but the dead end on terror is to kill them. Big "O" failure here. 

Chrystia: Conflated issues. No debate. "O" is getting a pass on killing. Issue highlight. Want to know the counter-productive impacts of the The Drone Wars?  (Master Of The Obvious alert!) The local targets on the ground hate the missiles. 

Matt: McCrystal agrees. Personally, I'm really panicky about The Drone Wars! Future conflicts! Rubicon's will be crossed!! Why aren't Liberal outraged, Bob?

Bob: I bitched about this in my column this week. Congress is covering up torture and the murders in The Drone Wars. It's hopeless to correct this corruption. Government abuse of power is endless. 

Matt: This week, Tea Baggers tried to rebrand their bigotry with little success. 

Byron: Rutgers study says recession was really a depression. Numbers. Pessimism. The maniac insanity of House republicans prevent them from helping American citizens. Comrade "O" never mentions unemployment in his inaugural address! Blame "O" not bat-shit-insane Tea Baggers! Eric Cantor tried to rebrand the GOP at the AEI, but he does that shit on a 6 month basis. He knows the economic score but he just doesn't care! It's a real problem.

Chrystia: Eric Cantor is not re-thinking, nor is he re-branding. It's funny watching Cantor trying to sell shitty unpopular politics by simply repeating everything slowly. Its like watching Thurston Howell III talking to his Mexican gardner. Unemployment is ignored by the Very Serious People, Tea Baggers and the 1%. There is no way, on God's green earth, that the Republican party will do ANYTHING about unemployment. Nothing. 

HALF TIME!

Matt: GOP rebranding. Give me that old time religion Bob. 

Bob: Meh. Chrystia did a good job. Republican scapegoat welfare, immigrants, gays and abortion  because the Tea Bag base refuses to deal with unemployment. Right Wing Nut republicans are killing Far Right Wing Nut Lunatics. Even Dick Nixon wanted a guaranteed annual income! Eisenhower! Rockefeller! "O" failed like Chimpy did. They threw free money at Wall Street. 

Matt: Republicans hate the 99%. They hate average Americans, and the voters know it. Republicans are servile to their inner Tea Bag. Post Office not delivering on Saturday. Byron?

Byron: It is the Post Office Union that ruined everything. 

Chrystia: Junkmail. Internet. Union jobs are good jobs.

Bob: Byron, its called the US Postal SERVICE! It's what they do.

Byron: "O"'s State of the Union will suck. Let's see if he mentions unemployment, but like I said before, don't blame Tea Baggers, blame "O"! He needs to talk more! Again, "O" talk more, don't blame Tea Bag Republicans.

Matt: Byron, what can Republicans do about jobs?

Byron: Again, republicans can do, and will do nothing about unemployment. "O" needs to implement Democratic policies, but, you know, Tea Bag Republicans will kill anything that help average Americans. (Read: the 99%)

Matt: Interesting. Chrystia?

Chrystia: "O" should say something interesting. Something Liberal. Where the beef is. Climate change and energy, Keystone pipeline.

Bob: Staged events. Good inaugural speech. Inner FDR. Justice Department finally got of its ass and sued Standard & Poor.  Stop the 85 billion a month bailout that is still going on.

Matt: Democrats are preventing the rise in teaching standards. We need Rock Star teachers like Singapore. 

Byron: Eric Cantor mentioned that at his Flail Fest at the AEI last week. I'll reuse my Rutgers study to say college is out of reach. Cheaper college loans is not the answer. Nothing can be done. Don't look for Republican leadership on this issue.

Chrystia: Education should be front and center. Pre-distribution.  Birth lottery. "O" failed at financial reform. Stiffen spines for financial reform. Banksters are getting away with murder. American infrastructure is depressing. We are way behind the power curve on that. Infrastructure spending was killed by Tea Baggers and it's a shame. 

Bob: Elite schools allow elite people to steal. Inequality is ruining America. 

FAMED AROUND THE HORN END OF SHOW RANT

Byron: Sequestration. Cut entitlement spending. I want to hurt poor people. I want them bleeding under excessive Defense spending. Screw them. 

Chrystia: Pet Cheer! Gay marriage is going universal. 

Bob: George Soros fought both Nazi's and troglodyte republicans. What a hero! 

Matt: Raise the minimum wage. Nuance. We should have a minimum decent life. Good bye!

"Torturer in bath tub"

"War Criminal in Shower"

“I’m not going to deny that the briefing exists,” she said, “and it was bad.

Meaning, she sure as shit was going to lie her ass off.

Lt. Gen. Michael Flynn, the director of the DIA, apologized, as any government official in his position would. He seemed to be aware that he was playing out of his league. He sent a public affairs officer out with the agency’s regrets. “I’m not going to deny that [the briefing] exists,” she said, “and it was bad. It was inappropriate for sure. Neither the agency nor the leadership has condoned anything that was in that briefing.” The clear message, as reported by U.S. News & World Report, is that Jane is free to be as plain as she likes, with neither make-up nor painted nails.

Conservatives

The whiny kids tended to grow up conservative, and turned into rigid young adults who hewed closely to traditional gender roles and were uncomfortable with ambiguity.