1. You have to be for killing convicts, but against a woman's right to terminate her pregnancy at any time.
2. You have to believe that government should keep their hands off business so they can enjoy prosperity.
3. You have to believe that putting guns in the hands of all Americans will make Americans more secure and that we should nuke China and North Korea before they nuke us.
4. You have to believe that the Federal government should make starving artists get a job.
5. You have to believe that global warming is no threat to us as long as we can produce our own air conditioning even though nature can't.
6. You have to believe that the Federal government should stand for liberty and equality for all, unless you're a homo.
7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is God's justice in action.
8. You have to believe that teachers who can't teach 4th-graders belong in public schools where children learn about sex from each other.
9. You have to believe that hunters care a lot about nature, otherwise there would be nothing to shoot, and environmentalists are a pain in the ass.
10. You have to believe that compassion and encouragement are for pussies.
11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion Of The Christ and we should all be required to see it.
12. You have to believe the NRA is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the ACLU is bad because it supports the Constitution.
13. You have to believe that taxes are too high, and ATM fees are just right.
14. You have to believe that women who fought for women's rights don't even belong in an American history book.
15. You have to believe that standardized tests are a fair measure of a colored person's ability to compete in a white man's world.
16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton represents everything you're against.
17. You have to believe that socialism is bad because it forces you to help people who won't help themselves.
18. You have to believe conservatives always tell the truth, and lying about a sex offense is worse than lying about reasons for launching a pre-emptive war.
19. You have to believe that homosexuals and transvestites should stay indoors, while manger scenes on government property at Christmas should not bother anyone, no matter what your religion.
20. You have to believe that illegal Republican Party funding by corporate "donations" is somehow in the best interest to the United States.
21. You have to believe that a smaller government is a better government and that a smaller government means spending a $3 trillion surplus and then creating a $4 trillion deficit.
22. You have to believe that this message came from the pervasive, liberal media.
No comments:
Post a Comment