Monday, July 03, 2006

Red State Values: It sucks to be red.

Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states.


17 of 23 states that don't expressly outlaw bestiality are red states.


[T]he states with the three highest divorce rates are all red (Nevada, Arkansas, Wyoming), while Massachusetts has the lowest rate.

Suicide rate? Once again, all red (New Mexico, Montana, Nevada), with the lowest rates all-blue (New Jersey, New York, Massachusetts).

Murder rate? Again, reds in the lead, with two of the three the worst (Mississippi, Maryland, Louisiana). Blues hold two of the three with lowest rates (New Hampshire, Maine, South Dakota).


In fact, check out these red state talking points:
-If grandma and grandpa have to choose between rent and prescriptions, it's only because they were too stupid or lazy to plan ahead for old age.
-Growing up without decent housing, clothing, healthcare, and food builds character.
-God loves poor people so much that he made a whole lot of 'em.
-Sometimes, though, God makes a few too many poor people and has to take some back.
-The best kind of housing is made in a factory.
-You can do everything you need to do in this world with a high school edumacation.
-Traffic fatalities just weed out the weak and ineffective drivers.
-The so-called "energy crisis" is just a myth made up by a vast left-wing conspiracy.

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