Victim: Speaker Dennis Hastert
Claim: Hastert covered up Foley's predatory behavior.
The villains: Democrats, George Soros, Michael Moore, and the Mighty Clenis of Iniquity (Identified by Hastert and the Official Television Networks of the Glorious Conservative Cultural Revolution)
How they did it: Klinton, funded by Soros, bought mind control technology from a band of rogue Reptiloid aliens from the Regulas Star System. The Democrats used the technology to cause Foley to prey upon the pages and to compel the Republican leadership to cover it up. Once the story broke, they used it to cause Hastert, Reynolds, Shimkus, and Boehner to blame each other.
And Michael Moore is fat.
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