Criminal asshole republicans...have butt-hurt :-(

Some conservatives have hurt fee-fees and broken cookies before their nap.

Still reeling from the unprecedented hits of last week’s national election, Tea Partiers have become particularly irrational. In Lebanon Ohio, local tea party officials called for a “counter-revolution” even as they mourned the death of America. Texas Republican official, Peter Morrison has called for an “amicable divorce” of the godfearin’ GOP from the “maggots” who voted for Obama. Morrison, who also has a job screening textbooks for the great state of Texas, is particularly incensed at Asian-Americans and Hispanics who voted for Obama, accusing them of voting on an “ethnic basis.” Perhaps the greatest case of kettle blacking in recent memory. In battleground state Ohio, Cincinnati Tea Party leaders may have won the most creative award publishing the obituary above, and offering this studied prediction: We will be a socialist nation within months. However, a revolution is rising and all those elected officials that are blind to what they have done to this country should be encouraged to become enlightened, should be encouraged to step down and should not be reelected. Like that of quintessential American, Mark Twain, reports of the nation’s death may have been greatly exaggerated. After all, timeshare mogul, David Seigel, who once threatened mass layoffs to his workers if Obama won (here), reversed course and actually gave them a 5% wage increase across the board. Donald Trump deleted his wacky twitter call for revolution and even Senate Majority leader John Boehner has signaled his willingness to compromise work (here) with the President to avert a fiscal crisis. So perhaps the Tea Party-types have the message right but the wrong corpse. Perhaps the words of that lawyer-turned-metaphysical poet, John Donne, are cautioning the ill-wishing mulligrubs of our age:

Therefore, send not to know For whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee.