Dickhead republican, governor of America's wang, Rick Scott gave back his shelter dog.

This would be a mind-numbingly stupid enough story if it ended there, but of course it doesn't. Oh no. Because Scott abandoned Reagan shortly after he moved his family into the governor's mansion because it turned out that his rescue dog was—and brace yourselves, because this is shocking—a rescue dog.

“He was a rescue dog,” Scott said, “and he couldn’t be around anybody that was carrying anything, and so he wouldn’t get better.”

You see, he wouldn't get better because the photo shoot was done!