KCRW's Left Right & Center

Left, Aequum et Centrum FRI MAR 15, 2013
Hosts: Matt Miller, Robert Scheer, Ross Douthat

Matt: Two Jews and a Pentacostalist converted Catholic discuss the new pope. Too bad Vin Weber cant be here today to defend the child rape felonies that the Vatican religiously covered up. Let get the Catholic involved first. Ross?

Ross: As a converted former Pentacostalist its been murder. I have so much I have to pretend to know! I am now going to give a rambling word salad statement for several minutes without making any interesting arguments or providing any insight whatsoever. (and proceeds to do so.)

Bob: I lost interest after one Pope, I can't remember his name said we Jews were no longer to be considered Christ Killers any longer. Medieval thought appeals to conservatives. I'd be nice if Francis comes out against molesting children and becomes an advocate for the poor.  The Catholic church is a secular political institution.

Matt: How can the Catholic church ignore poor people? Isn't that its 'thing'?

Ross: (The word salad continues.) Secular terms. Social mapping. Conservative sensibilities.  Reactionary sex. Gays bad. Stable two parent families. Perfectly pleasing. Medieval holdover. Transcends.

Bob: I agree. (?) Enlightened position. Must care about children after birth. Catholic hangups on sex.

Ross: Sex reform is a non-starter for Catholics. (The Palinesque word salad continues for several minutes.) Married priests.  Room for and possibility of change. Hierarchical cultures. Priests move around. Penn State. Climate of awe. Self protecting cycle.  Besides, the rate of child rape isn't any higher for Catholic priests than any other group! Porn is normalized. Catholic hangups on sex isn't a threat to America. Sex is a hobby. Sex is moral.  God cares who and where you place your DNA deposits! Enlightened modern world. I have doubts.

Bob: That's how you justify Catholic religious bigotry against gay parents? Really?

HALFTIME

Ross: (Word salad.) Force republicans to cut Medicare. Cut entitlements. Ronald Reagan.

Matt: My beef with Ryan is that he is proposing to cut entitlements to below Reagan era levels!! Bob?

Bob: Christ, settle down Matt. Stop beating up on Social Security and Medicare. Social Security is and will be solvent for decades - shut the fuck up Matt, the adult is speaking - Medicare doesn't do anything about cost. Nothing about Obamacare dealt with costs.  The sequester? Cutting military is good. We doubled the Military budget after 911...and then we did doubled it AGAIN.  The Federal Reserve spends 85 billion a month. GE never pays taxes. 40% of the multi-national companies pay no tax.

Matt: Steve Brill. Ross, any chance on a Grand Bargain?

Ross: No. Democrats will never pass tax reform. The republicans let Chimpy's tax cut for the rich expire so, no new revenue increases ever.

Matt: Cyber Warfare. I'm should I be worried?

Bob: It's hyped hysteria. And we've lost civil liberties. Look, the NSA listens to White peoples phone calls too and not just the Dirty Fucking Hippies! Even tea bag conservatives have each tweet, email and text recorded in order to secure espionage convictions at a later date.  We have no privacy.

Matt: I couldn't disagree more. Our entire infrastructure is at risk! Nuclear capabilities, energy, all that stuff. Computers. Chinese epicenter. Red team. Pentagon. Ross?

Ross: Im not going to pretend. Split the difference. People have budgets. Major threat from Red China. Grains of salt. Middle East. Apartheid Israel are Cyber Terrorists. Iran. Flash points.

AROUND THE HORN RANT

Bob: Richard Fisher, conservative, Federal Reserve CEO in Dallas just admitted to the CPAC wingnuts that banksters are too big to fail. Even Holder, the Attorney General said the Banksters are too big to prosecute!

Ross: The republican party needs to become more democratic and less tea bag.

Matt: A pox to both parties for advocating Reagan era spending levels for 'Boomers.

KCRW's Left, Right & Center

A Tale of Two Economies, Obama's Charm Offensive FRI MAR 8, 2013

This weeks host for Left, Tea Bag, Republican are hosts Very Serious Person Matt Miller, Robert Scheer, Melody Barnes and Matthew "I actually wrote a book defending Pailin" Continetti.

First, why yes! My name is Melody Barnes and I am hot. Second, Tea Bag Continetti really did try to grift his way to wealth or at least get him some tasty wing nut welfare by scribbling "The Persecution of Sarah Palin: How the Elite Media Tried to Bring Down a Rising Star" coloring book. That's republican personal responsibility in action.

Third...

VSP Matt: Can we figure out a way not to give "O" credit for the stock market and improved Jobs Report? Bob?

Bob: (Thinks: What a putz.) The numbers are better! Albeit all the new jobs are personal service jobs at lower wages. Although pundits are still doing quite well. Stakeholders.

Melody: Opportunity gap. Poverty. John Bridgeland.

Continetti: I don't know why people are happy for a record breaking DOW. Weak recovery. Explosive growth needed.

VSP Matt: Half the jobs in the US pay less than $40K a year. I'm a pundit and I am paid very, very handsomely. John Edwards. Two Americas.

Bob: No shit, asshole. And wait until the Rubes in the red states figure that out. Idiot tea baggers will be screwed.

Melody: Relationships. A pox on both houses. I'm married. Dating. Using people doesn't go well as a policy. Relationships is glue.

Continetti: I have no hope of being invited to the cocktail parties that you are Matt (wink! I desperately wish to be asked back on L, R & C. Not unlike that nasty Vin Weber.) "O" is clueless as to what to do with the insane tea bag wing nuts in the House. Relevance.

VSP Matt: I like to be stroked. Bob, you tried to stroke me before the show!! (Squeee!)

Bob: (Audible groan.) Matt you penis..sigh...cut defense.

VSP Matt: I wrote a column this week! Bobo Brooks gets all the trolls, but I have spell check too! I can't grow a mustache like the Friedman Unit but we are all from the Same Tribe! I agree with Ryan, Dems must cut entitlements. Oxygen. Screw jobs and immigration.

Melody: (actual quote) Easter Bunny and Santa Clause are gonna fly past the Cow jumping over the moon. Sharpen the point. Education. Health care reform. Relevance.

Half Time VSP Matt: Rand Paul. Matthew?

Continetti: The Aqua Buddha? Kicked off his 2016 campaign. That girl Rand Paul kidnapped in college certainly won't hurt him with republicans. And remember his insane questions about smuggling guns to Syria to Clinton? That tea bag is going places. Rubio is (and I quote) "another light weight".  Paul is ready for his close up.

Bob: Due process is over rated. Like Scalia says, "Get Over It." Chimpy's Brennan is a torturer and "O" made him head of the CIA. Un-fucking-believable.  Remember this the next time you call him the Kenyan Usurper.

Melody: Republican obstructionism is a disease on the soul of the United States.  Strong values. Rather Paul go for an actual publicity stunt than the dickish silent holds that Inhofe does and DeMint used to do.

VSP Matt: Paul had democratic support. Drone policy. I'm staring. We killed 3000 people with drones. China and India will have drones! We have to govern. Word?

Continetti: Republicans lost their shit after 911. Went on a real massacre. Killed a lot of civilians. Committed a lot of war crimes. We've settled down. Shot our load. Trust us. Unless we can bomb Iran. Can we bomb Iran? Aggression. Extra legal means.  

VSP Matt: KCRW finally paid for (invited) a minority to be on todays program.  Being 100% white, male and mostly republican finally made us guilty enough to do so. Might as well ask about Cheryl Sandberg and her book "Lean In".  Melody?

Melody: Matt, you are a sellout and a blatant republican. Fuck you and your patronizing career.  Is 'cut entitlements' the only thing you can advocate? I mean besides your third party fantasies and your dreams of sucking tit at the Grey Lady? Christ but your are insufferable.  For the love of god, stop pretending you care about anything other than deconflicting your cocktail party access calander.

Bob: Class dimension. Women are underpaid, systemically despite raising most of the children, alone. Liberals cheered when Billy Clinton screwed women (don't laugh) with dependent children who were suffering! Zero Dark Thirty proves women can be just as hateful and ugly as men when it comes to vicious policy.

END OF SHOW RANT

Continetti: "O" is in trouble because he is underfire because he won't  reveal who donated 500k or more.

Melody: Women devalue themselves.

Bob: Costco came out for raising the minimum wage. Fuck Walmart.

VSP Matt: My wife wrote something! Feminist are to blame for their unequal working conditions. Bitches all. Listen to my wife! I have to!